Partners in Crime
by Bond.Jane
Summary: Brennan and Booth have a date. Sully comes in, spoils the fun and gets shot. That's it, shot absolutely dead! Now Complete!
1. Chapter 1

**Author's note:** This is a six chapter story. I don't want to give to much away but things are about to get weird. Do not be alarmed. I'm here to make it all ok!

As Sledger Hammer would put it before he destroyed half a city, "Trust me, I know what I'm doing"

As usual, please read and review. Comments are a tool to improve.

Part One- Dinner Date

Brennan had been leaning over a ripe corpse for at least two hours. The stench made the air thick. Her gloved fingers touched the soft gooey internal organs. They yielded softly to her careful touch not without a squishing sound. What had once been blood was now no more than a paste clinging to the latex on her gloves. Hair that had been brown and soft was a mated mess crawling with parasites that feasted on the dead. Her eyes concentrated on the details of the mess stretched on her autopsy table. Her brain calculated age and gender indicators, approximate time of death. Cause of death: _what besides the gunshot wound to the head, you mean?_...

Slightly above breath volume, Brennan was singing.

Zack approached her to offer assistance. Angela trailed not far behind, followed closely by a dishevelled- but clearly very happy Hodgins.

"Sweetie! Are you ready for us?" Then, sparing a careful look at the corpse "woa!" I'll be right in my office… " But Brennan had not yet spared them a look and then there was that humming sound. _Is she singing? Girls just wanna have fun… _"Sweetie, are you singing? You are, You are actually singing ."

Brennan snapped out of her trance

"What?... no!... I'm not singing… really, why would I be singing ?"

Angela gave her a Who're you kidding look.

"I wasn't singing, Angela! I would know if I were singing…"

"Ok, ok, say no more! Hot date tonight!"

"I didn't say anything about a date, hot or otherwise, Angela"

"Uh, uh! Just say it, Brenn: _I have a hot date tonight and I'm excited about it_!"

"I have a hot date tonight and I am excited about it! There! Happy?"

"Yes! Freak! Takes a Brennan to look at this mess" and she pointed at the table "and sing!" and she walked away shaking her head in disbelief, her black curls swaying gently with the movement as if they, too, were disapproving of Brennan's antics.

"Hey Doctor B! Is it safe to assume that Booth is back in town and that your bout of bad temper is about to expire?"

Brennan turned to glare at him. Hodgins made himself scarce really quick taking a clueless Zack with him. _I am not leaving Curious George here to be murdered_, he thought. _I wouldn't be able to live with myself…_


	2. Chapter 2

Part 2- Dinner for two

Part 2- Dinner for two

Booth was indeed back in town. He had been away for the last two weeks on some secret FBI mission. His mood was nothing less that fiery- away from is woman for two whole weeks- and all for what? Those over cooked idiots from LA could not tie up a case if it had been handed to them already wrapped as present. He had showered, trying to wash away the irritations of the mission, taking a girly pleasure in the shower products that had been Temperance's gift. He put on a pair of fake old jeans and a Blue T shirt that read "FBI- female body inspector" in yellow letters and made his way to Temperance's apartment. _My woman's apartment_. He secretly did that a lot lately… _My woman bought me this… My woman smells like flowers… My woman is beautiful_… He took great pleasure at this, repeating the words like a mantra.

He reached her front door but she wasn't home yet. He felt a bit deflated… _hasn't she missed me enough to want to ditch work by lunch time just to be waiting for me?..._

Brennan walked into the building. She had seen his SUV outside and knew she would have to find a away to apologise. _He has such delicate feelings. Like a girl, really_…

She saw him sitting on the floor against her front door and her heart turned somersaults, her breath hitched and she flushed with the pleasure of seeing him. She kneeled in front of him, put down the take away bags and, sitting on his lap, took her time kissing him, enjoying the just showered smell on him, the smell of the detergent he used on his washing, the rough touch of his 5 o'clock beard. She was delighted by the reaction of his body against hers. She pulled back.

"I'm sorry I'm late" She tried his trade mark puppy dog look.

"You're forgiven" He grinned. "Now feed me!"

She was struggling with the keys, so he took them from her hands and opened the door and stepped back for her to walk in first. These kind of gestures never failed to make her gooey to the core. Not that she would ever admit to it. Then she noticed the T shirt.

"Really classy, Booth!"

"I know!" He sounded cocky "You need a shower!"

"What?!.. Booth, I don't smell!"

"Of course not" he was being condescending and she knew it. "But you should go and freshen up. I have great plans for us tonight"

"Do you really", she sassed him

"Really"

"Oh… Like what? Care to give me a preview?"

"Oh, you know… this and that…" he said pushing her to the bathroom. Do you need help with your shower?"

"If I say yes, we will not get out of the bathroom tonight"

"Hum, and I'm hungry"

"You are always hungry!"

"It is no less true now and it is just getting worse. Now go!", and he slapped her butt so that she would move.

While Brennan had her shower, Booth busied himself with setting the table. On a second though, he lit some candles, put some music and nibbled on the sesame toast she had brought from Wong Foo's. He opened a bottle of red wine and poured it. She walked into the dining room and sat at the table, her legs folded under her. She had changed into the skimpiest silk night gown. Booth looked at her and immediately felt the reaction of his starved body to her. He swallowed whatever it was that had lodged itself in his throat and asked

"And what do you call that blue piece of silk on you?"

"I call it an attention seeker" she said smugly. "How effective is it?"

He adjusted his belt buckle, a bulge now very prominent in his groin area, and managed to unstick his feet from where they seemed to have sprouted roots and walked towards the opposite side of the table.

"Very" and there was fever in his eyes. "You know what, maybe dinner can wait…"

She laughed and stretched her hand to touch his. And then the door bell rang. Looking back on it, they should have known that they were not supposed to open. But the benefit of hindsight also told them that their brains were no longer working…

Brennan stood up, walked to the door, put her hand in the door handle, turned it still looking at Booth sitting at the dinner table with a silly smile on his face and when she pulled the door back and looked at the person calling at that time of the night, she froze in place. Her smile slowly faded in to a look of utter shock!

"Sully!"

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	3. Chapter 3

Part 3- Disaster

Part 3- Disaster

"Tempe!" Clearly, Tim Sullivan hadn't seen Booth standing there or the mere assassin look in the other man's eyes would have given him a clear indication that leaving was the best he could do. But he was mesmerized with the sight of Temperance in that ridiculously small outfit. All he could see was the woman he had stupidly left behind. His brain paralyzed at the thought that she had been pining for him all this time and that she had secretly been hoping that he would come back to her. _Well, then, tonight is your lucky night, babe_. And he walked to her, grabbed her arms and pulled her to him, plastering his lips all over her. His hands slid down her back into her bottom, pinching and squeezing. That finally snapped Temperance out of her stupor. She pushed him away as gently as her indignation would allow it, not wanting the next door neighbour to come rushing in for a session of late night free show.

Sully was clueless. He walked in.

"Tempe, I should never have left and I… " The words died out as he finally saw Booth standing in the middle of the room, the candles and the set table.

Brennan closed the door behind her leaning against it for support. _Crap. What is he doing here?_

Sully was doing his own thinking, putting two and two together and, not stupidly, interpreting the situation correctly.

"Oh… so you two... you two are together now?"

"Yes!" they both answered at the same time. And happy that they did, they shared an enamourate look over Sully's head.

"But… but…" Sully was stupefied… "I love you Tempe. And Booth… well, he is just your partner and he seriously does not deserve you! And the baggage on this guy! I mean, he cannot hold a relationship and he has a kid! A kid, for God's sake! Do you really wanna be saddled with somebody else's brat? And you," he said turning to Booth, "should be embarrassed- coming at another man's leftovers…"

That was it. Temperance simply snapped. She could have stood there hearing him ranting on about his love but the moment he spoke about Booth and Parker, her rational side simply took a back sit. She just shifted into combat mode and punched Sully across the face sending him flying. Sully landed sliding slightly across the polished floor. But Sully still had his anger and got up as if he had springs on his feet. And made a fatal mistake. He punched Temperance squarely in the jaw making her fall banging the back of her head against the mahogany table that sat by the entrance.

The next thing Sully knew, he was dead, an expression of bewilderment forever in his face.

Booth had pulled his gun from the holster, aimed at Sully's head and quite simply fired a shot that splattered the other man's brain matter all over Temperance's magnolia coloured walls.

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	4. Chapter 4

Part 4- What now

_Thank you all of those that reviewed. I can see that you are all very worried about the goings on in this fic. I can only reiterate what I said in the summary of the story: trust me, I know what I'm doing. I know right now things are weird- and, because I wrote it, I know that are going to get even weirder in the next tow chapters… just go with me on this one, ok? All will sort itself out!_

_Jane_

Part 4- What now?

"Well, I never liked that colour much!" Temperance said. "Is he dead?"

"Why are you asking me for? You're the forensic anthropologist", he shrugged stuffing his hands in his pockets.

Brennan approached the body, gave it a slight kick to the ribs and announced:

"Yep, he is very dead!" and she walked to the dinner table, picked up a glass of wine and downed it as if it were water.

"Well, that SOB!"

"Temperance… we need to call someone from the FBI. This is internal affairs."

"What happens now, Booth?"

"Well, I killed him. Shot to the back of the head. He was unarmed. I can say that he roughed you up but as defence, it's as thin as it gets" he sighed. "But you know what ticks me off? That we were just starting our life together…"

And then it dawned on her: they would never be together again. She was overcome by a mix of grief and rage. Rage won. She grabbed the first thing her fingers touched- a fork from the dinner table, walked deliberately to the body and stabbed it over and over again through the arms, the torso, the legs leaving it poked like a swiss cheese. When the fury subsided, she was sweating. _So much for the self defence theory! _Booth was shell-shocked.

"Why did this idiot have to come here tonight. Why did he have to go and die?" She shook her head "Booth, this is not our fault" She got up, looked at the fork in her hand and the body on the floor. "I'm not going to let him have the last laugh. I'm not!" He could see the determination shining in her eyes.

"So what do you propose we do?"

"We get rid of it. Obviously! We are the specialists, Booth. We can do this."

"There is no such thing as a perfect crime, Temperance. We make sure of that!"

"Well, given that there is no one no where near as good as we are at this, I'd say our odds of getting away with murder are pretty good"- and she actually sounded pleased with that. Temperance looked in his eyes and saw the struggle between self preservation and honour bound duty. She moved to him, put her arms around his neck and slid her bare foot up and down his leg and kissed him deeply, making him forget all the reasons for doing the right thing.

"Do this for us, Booth!" she implored. "Do this for us and I will have lots of your babies!"

He looked at her.

"God, I've never seen anything as sexy as you are right now!" And they kissed while Sully's dead eyes looked at them in a mockery of life.

"Hey, shake my hand and we're Bonnie and Clyde."

They shook hands on it.

"Well," Temperance continued, "let's have dinner, Bonnie. I'm starving"

"What about him? And I'm Clyde. You're Bonnie!"

"Who cares? But if it bothers you… " and she went to the body and covered the face with a kitchen cloth. "And you're Bonnie"

"Not! I'm the man. I'm Clyde"

"Suit yourself… Bonnie…" she mumbled under her breath with a sly smile.

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	5. Chapter 5

Part 5- Getting rid of the evidence

Part 5- Getting rid of the evidence

The meal over, Temperance and Booth set about the arduous task of getting rid of the evidence. Temperance put on her blue latex gloves, got a set of tweezers from the bathroom and dived into Sully's brain to retrieve the bulled. Under her breath, she was singing Girls just wanna have fun.

"Temperance, I thought I told you to stop strangling the cat!" Booth mocked. "The gloves match that silly little number you' re wearing, by the way. Very sexy!" She blushed and smiled at him.

"What cat? I don't have a cat, Booth, And thank you. You look quite dashing yourself."  
"Thank you Temperance. And on the cat? Take a hint!"

"Are you hinting that you're going to give me a cat, Booth?"

"No Temperance, I'm not!"  
"Why?"

"Because cats only have nine lives…"

"What does that mean… 'cause I'm pretty sure you're being sarcastic…"  
"Just mildly, Temperance" and the bullet came out with a slight squishing noise. She handed it to Booth.

"What do I do with it?"

"I don't know… throw it in a river or something…"

There was now a gaping hole in Sully's forehead. Temperance looked dejected.

"I could have done a much neater job at the lab."

"Well, forget it. I'm not dragging this guy all the way there. It's too heavy."

"You know what, Booth? I left Zach instructions to clean the bones from the victim at the lab. He is using dermastitis maculatus…"  
"The flesh eating bugs?"  
"Precisely. If we go there now, we can swap bodies and bugs. When Zack gets there in the morning, Sully here will be nothing more than bones"  
"Good thinking, Bones. Did I tell you how much I love that head of yours?"  
"Yep! Several times, actually!"

They calculated the effort needed and the manoeuvring required to carry the body out of the apartment. _The sad bastard could at least have had the decency of loosing some weight!_, she thought. _No matter_.

"Booth, take his clothes off"

"Feeling kinky, Bones?"

"Don't be silly! He is wearing synthetic fibres. The poor bugs will never eat through that!"

Once naked, they wrapped him in a body bag. Temperance retrieved a huge suitcase from under her bed.

"Booth, stuff the stiff in this suit case" and she laughed at herself "did you hear me Booth? I made a joke: Stuff the stiff… what do you think?

"It's brilliant Bones. I'll make sure to include it when we tell this story to our 25 grandkids"

"25, Booth?"

"Yeah! 5 kids, 5 grandkids from each. 25 grandkids. Man, this guy is heavy" Booth complained while hefting the body into the suitcase. "And what is it with the 'Tempe'? 'Oh Tempe this', 'Oh Tempe that' …"

"What? It's my name…"

"No, your name is Temperance"  
"Tempe for short, Booth. I think it's sweet…"

"Well, I just see a pattern here, ok? Michael Stires called you Tempe. Disaster. The fireman called you Tempe. Disaster. This guy called you Tempe- and we can both see what a success story this was…"

"So what are you saying exactly?"

"Exactly, I'm saying that they are all loosers- and sound like pathetic whining loosers… remind me never to use that name to call you, that's all"  
"My brother calls me Tempe… are you saying that he is a looser?"  
"Well, he's not much of a go getter, is he?"

With a thud, Sully's body plopped into the suitcase, but being slightly too big for the container, his limbs were overflowing and the suitcase refused to close. Brennan sat on the cover and fought the zipper closed.

"Booth?"

"Yes?"

"You don't really think my brother is a looser, do you?"  
"No, Bones, I don't"

"He's a nice guy, isn't he?"

"Yes Bones, he is"

Satisfied with the results on the suitcase and the argument with Booth, Brennan stood up and proceeded to clean the wall of Sully's blood. She could not stop singing. What was it with that song- it was like a scratched record inside her head _Oh girls just wanna have fun_…

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	6. Chapter 6

Ok, here it is, the final instalment of the story

Ok, here it is, the final instalment of the story. To all of you that added this story to their favourites or to the alert list: thank you! Seriously, it is amazing to see it happening. Thank you for your comments and the support. For understanding that we can joke about these things, for understanding the humour behind the writing. I hope it doesn't disappoint and that all the little things (ok, ok, maybe not THAT little) that seemed out of character are now explained.

Hope to see you again soon!

Jane

Part 6- Really??

"Temperance? Temperance please wake up!"

A moan.

"Temperance? It's time to wake up now. You're scaring me… please!"

Through the fog and the million flashing lights, she could hear a voice calling her. But she just wanted to sleep off that night. Her head felt twice it's normal size. _God, how much did I drink?_ She moaned in agony as pain shot through her head. Was she having a stroke? Was she being punished for getting rid of Sully?

"Temperance, wake up" she finally opened her eyes, but everything was out of focus, doubled and tripled. She closed her eyes again.

"Temperance, please look at me. I love you and I just want you to come back to me" She managed to focus on Booth's face only to see it splitting into three or four Booths all with a very worried face.

"She's coming back. That's good!" said a second voice in the room. It was coming from so far that she gave up on it.

"Dr Brennan, how many fingers? Come on, look at me, how many fingers?"

But there were too many to count.

"Temperance, please tell the doctor how many fingers he's holding" Booth begged her, his voice heavy with worry. She tried to raise her hand but could not muster the strength. The gesture did not go unnoticed by Booth- he held her hand and kissed her fingers tenderly. "The doctor is here and he's going to take care of you. You might have a concussion- you need to go to the hospital.

She worried about the suitcase with Sully inside. _What if they open it_?  
"The suitcase, Booth…" He stared at her blankly.

"What suitcase?"

"The one with Sully inside… we need to get rid of it. We can't leave it here"

"Bones, what are you talking about?"

"I don't want us to go to jail, Booth"

"But he attacked you. Why should we go to jail?" _How can he be this dim?_ She did not have the strength to explain it all now. Now she just wanted to sleep. So she closed her eyes. Booth panicked.

"No Temperance, don't sleep. I know it's hard and you're very tired, but you can't sleep if you have a concussion."  
"Let's just get rid of the suitcase and then you can take me to hospital."  
"Seriously, Bones, what are you talking about?"

"Sully", she whispered "we killed him, we need to get rid of him" Booth shifted to the left and pointed at a handcuffed and bloodied Sully being held by another agent.

"Temperance, you might have a concussion. That idiot is ok, we did not kill him…"

"But I took the bullet out of his skull. There was blood and you were going to tell the story to our 25 grandkids…"

"Grandkids, Bones?"

Booth called for the gurney to carry her to the hospital. The paramedics moved her from the couch into the gurney and wheeled her out of the apartment while Sully looked on before being taken by the Internal Affairs people.

"How many grandkids are we having, Bones?"

"25"

"Isn't that a bit excessive?"

"No. 5 kids, 5 grandkids from each. 25"

"Well, at least you can still do your times table"

"Booth?

"Yes?"

"You didn't shoot him?"  
"No. But I beat the crap out of him"  
"Would you have shot him for me?"

"Almost did.. when he punched you against that table… I almost lost it!"

"Booth?"  
"Yes?"  
"What am I wearing?"

"You're wearing a blue attention seeker. A very effective one!" he said with tenderness in his eyes.

"Booth?"  
"Yes?"  
"I don't understand. You shot him dead. And now he was alive…"

"Bones, I'm pretty sure you have a concussion. I think you hallucinated that"

"Ah…" She concentrated on the Female Body Inspector inscription on his T shirt.

"Temperance?"

"Yes?"  
"I'm just glad you're ok."

"I'm glad we're not going to jail, Booth"  
"Yeah, me too, Bones. Me too!"

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